adventures of an american housewife in the south of france

Ramona Rose’s Birth, Part I

During my pregnancy, I kept a journal for Ramona that I wrote in each week from Week 5 when we found out I was pregnant, to Week 40.  This is what I wrote the night before she was born.

Darling Dear Ramona, It's quite strange knowing in advance the day your life is going to change forever.  Right down to the hour.  I can't believe that by this time tomorrow, we will know you, hold you, kiss you.  Everything your Dad and I have been smiling and giggling and dreaming about for the last 9 months.  The way you will enter this world is not how we envisioned or planned, but I suppose you are already teaching us our first lesson, to relinquish control.  You are in charge now.  And, no matter how hard we've tried, we just can't get you to budge from your chosen position - comfortably curled up on your side in the right half of my belly.  We've tried to make the best decision for you, agonizing for days over every possibility and outcome.  I'm sorry if you've felt that stress and I hope you're not scared about what will happen tomorrow.  We've been telling you all about your arrival so that you're prepared, and I hope you're just as excited to meet us. It's hard to believe that this is the last night of just the two of us.  The last hours of having you all to myself.  Even though the end has been a little rough physically and emotionally, I have loved and been grateful for every moment of this pregnancy.  I cherish the feeling of you moving and growing inside me.  I am clinging to this precious and fleeting time when, no matter where I go, you are with me.  This time when the sound of my heartbeat is the sound you know best. I've been thinking a lot about that dream I had back in August. Do you remember me telling you about it? I dreamed that you had arrived, and I was getting ready to go to the hospital to see you.  When I woke up I laughed that there was nothing in the dream about a labor and delivery, just me getting ready to go meet you for the first time and I was so excited.   Maybe that was foreshadowing this exact circumstance. Maybe this is how it was supposed to be all along.  I hope it's a sign that we're doing the right thing.  Tomorrow morning, we will shower and get dressed and get ready to go to the hospital to meet you. It will be the greatest day of our lives, thus far.  As your Grandpa Huffman told me, "It's unbelievable. Better than any holiday, better than anything."   So sleep tight, sweet baby.  Tomorrow is a big day.  I'm not sure how I'll ever fall asleep tonight knowing that tomorrow you'll be here.  Tomorrow we'll be a family and your Dad and I will be holding you tight in our arms. This is all a part of the story of how your life began. Love, Mommy

12 Responses to “Ramona Rose’s Birth, Part I”

  1. Jen says:

    Just beautiful, Natalie. You are such a great writer and will always cherish the journaling you did. Awesome. Hope you are healing well and getting adjusted!

  2. Shannon says:

    So sweet and beautifully written. I am crying over here.

  3. Julia says:

    Tears! Gorgeous. I love it.

  4. Kara says:

    That was so sweet. I wish I could write like that.

  5. Meghan Lipford says:

    So precious, Natalie. Makes me want to have another one :)

  6. Courtney Cantwell says:

    I can relate to so much of what you’ve written here! Of course I’m crying:) I too, had premonitions/dreams about my Little G (in one dream he was the size of a piece of rice, thankfully he didn’t come out quite that small).

    Although our babies didn’t make the entrance we dreamt about, the bottom line is that they are both healthy.

    As a “type A” personality, Griffin’s very early arrival taught me the greatest lesson- I could make all the plans I wanted to, but I was not in charge. He would come in his way, just as Ramona did. I cannot wait to hear all about your experiences as parents, through this beautiful blog. I love you and I’m here for you always!!!

  7. kit says:

    What a beautiful letter. I too wanted the natural birth experience but ended up with a c-section. Looking back at Ellison’s birth the process of getting him here seems so minute…having him here is the important thing.

  8. Dawn says:

    You are a natural at being a momma.

  9. Mom says:

    What beautiful feelings Natalie. It brought tears to my eyes as I know what you are feeling for your first born. I love you sweetheart and Ramona is one lucky little girl : ) xoxo

  10. CRYING. so happy for you and your family. xo

  11. Susan Davis says:

    I do enjoy your blog! It’s gonna do nothing now but get way more interesting! :)

  12. Sabbio says:

    Do you want to make me cry? It is just oh so beautiful, tender, pure… I am just touched and moved… Ramona Rosa has the best mama ever!

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