Living abroad here in France has been everything I could have ever hoped for. This experience has been a shining highlight in my life and I am proud of us for saying yes. There is so much I’ll miss but even more that I’m looking forward to as we take this next step and move back home. When friends ask how we are feeling about leaving France, all we can say is that it’s time. It just feels right and we are ready. I’ve been thinking back to how I felt the day we left San Francisco. I was an emotional wreck, sure we were doing the right thing, but maybe not sure at all. I was reluctant, apprehensive. I don’t feel that way now. All the rooms of our apartment are empty and the walls are bare, causing every sound to bounce and echo, amplifying all our thoughts. Thoughts that say, Let’s go. We are ready to move on.

And as we move on, we will be taking the memories and lessons of our time here along with us. There are many ways in which France has changed my perceptions and beliefs for the good. I discovered I have more patience that I thought and reaffirmed the fact that I still have a lot to learn. About everything. Isn’t that exciting?

Here are the Top Ten things I learned in France:

1. Take your time. No one is in a hurry here. Not in restaurants, not in line, not ever. Life should be savored not rushed.

2. Just walk. There have been 2 times in my life when I was at my best weight and feeling my healthiest. In both of those instances I did not have a car. Not a coincidence.

3. Use your manners. In France, you do not go into a boutique, a grocery store, the gas station, a waiting room, anywhere without saying Bonjour as you enter and Au revoir as you leave. Everyone is addressed as Madame or Monsieur and you always say your SVPs and mercis. For some reason the French have been given a bad rap and everyone assumes they are rude and hate Americans. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

4. You’re never fully dressed without a scarf. It keeps you warm, it dresses up your outfits, it doubles as a blanket on planes. So multi-functional, no wonder every French person – man or woman – consider a scarf to be a wardrobe staple

5. Stop talking. I talk. A lot. And here in France, most of the time I just couldn’t. The inability to communicate is incredibly humbling. There were many times it made me feel frustrated and more times it made me feel stupid. But the advantage is that I learned I don’t have to be talking all the time. I don’t have to fill every silence with words. Instead, I learned to listen.

6. Don’t work too hard. You’ve heard the saying “work to live, don’t live to work”? Ya, the French have got that down cold. It sounds lazy, but it just makes for a better life. Everyone’s happier this way.

7. Never skip dessert. Ever.

8. Try everything once. Since living here in Europe I’ve eaten snails, frog legs, rabbit, duck glands, veal kidneys, blood sausage, goat, and fried crickets to name a few. I stopped short at horse, I just couldn’t go there. But everything I tried, I liked.

9. Life is better with butter. I can’t remember the last time in my life when I ate so much butter. It’s an indulgence that’s worth every bump in your cholesterol. Everyone deserves a little decadence.

10. You never stop needing your people. When my cousin Greer was little, she once cried out during a family reunion, “Where are my people?!” Now it’s a little joke that my family says when we need each other. You can’t get through life without your people – your friends and family who know you best. And it’s not that I thought I didn’t need those people, it’s just that I thought I would be ok with living all the way over here for a long time without them. Maybe even forever. I thought visits and phone calls and Skype dates would be enough. But they’re not. France is far. I feel far. I need my people and I can’t wait to be closer to them.

As I secured the lock to the bridge on Tuesday, I thought about everything that we have been through in the last two years. All the amazing adventures Michael and I have had, the obstacles we’ve faced and overcome, and how we’ve changed as a couple and as individuals. We came here as three and we’re leaving as four. All four of us are represented on this lock, and although we know the lock will be cut off and removed by the authorities in probably a matter of weeks or even days, we still plan to come back someday and look for it. Someday we’ll be back with Ramona to show her, our best souvenir, where her life began.

Au revoir, Montpellier. À bientôt.

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Ramona’s first month of life was difficult, like it is for most newborns. Unbeknownst to me, our battle with evil, evil thrush had begun and our poor, Little Miss had her days and nights mixed up. By her second month of life, she had flipped to a normal day/night schedule, the thrush was being treated, and her disposition improved, as evidenced by her many smiles. By 10 weeks, the thrush was gone (finally!) and our darling was sleeping through the night for 10 hours straight. This continued for the next 2+ months….then we hit Wonder Week 19.

I think this growth spurt/sleep regression/teething/who knows what has been particularly tough on me because it’s brought me back to the early weeks of Ramona’s life as a vulnerable new parent. When Ramona hit 3 months old, it was a huge turning point for me as a Mom. I felt much more confident in my abilities, in our routine, and in reading my daughter. But now I feel back at square one, clueless and confused and not sure if what I’m doing is helping her or not. To me, the hardest part about first time parenthood is that 95% of the time, you don’t know what the heck you’re doing. And in these last few weeks, I’ve really just been grasping at straws. Maybe she’s hungry, maybe she’s tired, maybe she just wants to be rocked, maybe her teeth hurt, maybe she’s frustrated. Poor baby has been fussy and clingy and waking in the night again. And forget about trying to get her to nap on her own. I’ve been doing my best to stick to our schedule and adapt it in ways that might accommodate her changing needs, but we’re still struggling to get back to a routine in which Ramona is rested and I’m feeling like a competent parent again. It finally feels like we are starting to come out of this stage, but it’s really been a reminder of what everyone says: As soon as you get to used to your baby acting one way, she will change.

The exciting part of this time of huge brain development and growth is that we are starting to see the results of all the change Ramona is going through. It’s so exciting to see her reach new milestones. For now, it’s the little things. She is pushing herself up higher than ever before, she is rotating around on her belly, she’s starting to roll not only from her back to her belly, but also from her belly to her back. She tries to sit up all the time and is constantly grabbing my hands to pull her up to standing. She is on the cusp of increasing her mobility in a major way, which is both thrilling and terrifying.

Her hair is starting to grow back in light brown, almost golden tufts and she’s starting to feel pretty heavy in the Bjorn! She waves her arms around and talks, and talks, and talks and has shown a whole new range of emotions on her face. Surprise, skepticism, excitement, and of course, frustration.

She giggles every once in awhile, but mostly she just coughs. It’s just the funniest thing, instead of laughing, she gives a little “ahem!” We imitate the cough back to her and she lights up and does it again. We go back and forth until I realize that we should probably stop because by now we’ve coughed all over the kitchen.

Morning time is the best time when she is sunny and happy, playing with her favorite little fox rattle and “talking” with Mom and Dad. Little Ramona grabs at everything and loves to take hold of anything you put in front of her and shove it in her mouth. One of her favorite things to do is to curl up in a little ball when I’m trying to change her diaper and get her dressed. I call her my little Potato Bug.

Ramona has now joined us on many lunch excursions and, for the most part has done pretty well. She gets a little fussy but can usually be calmed by sitting in our laps or having a little snack with Mom. She likes to be in new environments, seeing new things and meeting new people. I love to see how big her eyes get when she’s introduced to something for the first time.

Despite the challenges that this month has brought, we are still in total awe of our beautiful little daughter. I can’t believe the progress and growth she has made since that day she arrived, so tiny and new. On the really hard days, I try to think about the fact that someday soon, she’ll be walking and talking. She’ll ride a bike and ask us for a pony and eventually she’ll be in high school. She’ll wear make up and break boys’ hearts and someday she’ll perform on a field or a court or a stage. Michael and I will be so proud of her. We’ll marvel at how far she’s come and we’ll turn to each other and say, remember? Remember when she was 5 months old? When we lived in France and she only rolled one way and she coughed instead of laughed and we couldn’t get her to take a nap to save our lives? Remember that? Man, those were the days.

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I tried to take it one box at a time, and by Wednesday things were a bit better.  Well, as far as packing goes, things were a bit better.  By 2:30pm that afternoon I had already been reduced to running an hour long stroller loop in our creepy underground garage in a last ditch effort to calm an inconsolable baby during a torrential downpour, (it worked) but that is a story for next week.  As of today, the rain has stopped and the bathroom is fixed.  We have 10 boxes packed, taped, logged, and ready to ship.  All of my stuff is packed, 90% of Ramona’s stuff is packed, all of our books are packed, most of the furniture is sold, and we have a giant box full of stuff we’re giving away.  I’d say we’re about halfway done with all the packing and prep.

We have been continuing our “one last time” weekly lunches to some of our favorite spots, Les Caves Jean Jaures last week, and Chez Boris this week.  We hit up Boris yesterday and let me tell you, this mama needed a fancy lunch out. (see above mentioned sleep regression).

Parmentier de joues d’angeau from Les Caves Jean Jaures. Michael called this a mashed potato sandwich.

Tartare de canard

our little lady was a major grump during this lunch!

Verrine Gourmande! Apple and pear with chestnut mousse. It was deeeelicious.

Don’t even think about asking for tomatoes right now at Chez Boris!!

Magret de canard

always get dessert.

She was a perfect angel at Chez Boris! (don’t mind my nursing cover.)

Only 2 weeks to go.  Let’s see if I can hold it all together until then.

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For the last few weeks we’ve been stuck in this weird place where we know we’re moving, but it’s just a little too early to start packing things up.  However, we’re starting to realize that we need to Start Doing Things.  And oh my, is there a lot to do.  We’ve started selling off our furniture to friends and Michael’s co-workers and we have boxes upon boxes of things to give away.  We’re trying to only ship back what we brought, plus a few souvenirs and Ramona’s belongings.  I think we did a really great job of living minimally during our time here, but somehow in the almost 2 years we’ve been here, we’ve still accumulated various stuff that we need to get rid of:  vases, dishes, throw pillows, electrical gadgets that won’t work back in the U.S.  If you know anyone who needs a European hand mixer, please send them my way.

We’re closing bank accounts, preparing paperwork, and showing our apartment to prospective new tenants.  In a rather annoying twist, our rental agency decided it would be ok to just give my phone number out to tenants who want to come see the apartment so that I could set up a time for a showing.  I found this out when someone called me and started asking me in French when they could come over.  One of Michael’s co-workers called the agency and told them that this was unacceptable and that they were not to give my phone number out to anyone else.  They would have to call him to help arrange the appointments.  Their response?  But that’s so much work.  They went on to suggest that maybe we could just leave our key with them and they could just come by whenever someone wanted to see the apartment and show it themselves.

Get me out of here.

In the meantime, we’re also trying to make the most of our last few weeks here.  We were really hoping to take one last trip to Lyon, but I see that possibility moving further and further from our reach.  We were planning to go this weekend, but Michael has been getting over a cold, Figgy’s having some trouble with his front leg again, and  - did I mention we haven’t started packing yet?  We’ve decided to start getting together for lunch during the week so that we can try out some new restaurants that have been on our list and go to our favorite spots “one last time.”  Midday is when Ramona takes her longest nap, so we’ve been able to get together for some sort-of -alone-time outside of the house while enjoying a nice meal.  That will have to do for now.

One month from today we will land in Raleigh with no home, no car, no stroller, no crib, no car seat.  Michael’s company is amazing and has provided us with a fabulous relocation that will really help us out in the first month, but these are all still things we need to figure out very quickly (especially the crib and stroller part, hmm.)  Expect a lot of posts in the near future that range from “what stroller should we buy?” to “how the hell do you keep a 5 month old and a dog entertained on a 2-day, 3 part international journey?”  Oh, it’s going to be fun.

À bientôt!

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It was very cool to explore the little streets of Aix.  Man, there is some good shopping there!  I could have done some serious damage.  There’s an abnormal amount of adorable children’s boutiques.  I picked up some gifts for expecting friends and thing or two for Ramona.  I especially liked perusing all the unique finds at Le Petit Souk and Emilie et Compagnie.

We had a delightful lunch of yummy sandwiches and sodas at a teeny restaurant in an alleyway.  They had table that must have been 20 feet long, carved from a single piece of wood.  It was gorgeous.

only a small part of this massive table

I made Michael pose for this shot. I call it, “The Matrix”

We took in the grand Cathédrale Saint Sauveur and visited a few of Aix’s many fountains.  Our Little Miss slept the entire time.

It was a very nice way to spend the afternoon.

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